Curios for Weirdos 🤪🔫 Weird Shizz for Friends and Fiends 🤪🔫 Presents for Peasants 🤪🔫 Oddities for Hotties 🤪🔫 Trinkets for Finks 🤪🔫 Baubles and Gaud 🤪🔫 Bric-A-Brac-A-Lac 🤪🔫 Objets d'art for Old Farts 🤪🔫 Thing-A-Ma-Jigs by the Artist for the Oafish Artish Artifact Aficionado

White Man Mojo

White Man Mojo


Genuine 17th Century
Imperial Lozenge
8.4 oz.

It's tough these days. All the females and the brown people are taking your jobs and riches and they're being mean and ordering you around and out-spawning you. It's payback time and you didn't even do anything wrong.

Suck on one of these sweet lozenges and the concentrated CrackerAncestry™ will fill you with the dominance and heartlessness that you sorely crave to take back your seat of power.

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JR Very Fine Rare Goods — purveyors of the most bestest quality, super hard to find thing-a-ma-jigs that you were aching to possess but weren’t quite sure existed ‘til you seen it here.

Our products are works of art, so you got to pay extra. Each item is hand made to order under the strictest imagined and/or undocumentated guidelines, by the artist, for the artish artifact aficionado. Each item is unique unto itself, ‘cause it may be boring to make 2 things exactly the same, or maybe it’s just impossible to make 2 things exactly the same.

All our claims and boasts are blatant lies, and you are a foolish person if you believe any of it. 

JR Very Fine Rare Goods are not responsible for any dumb-ass shit you might do with our products. They are novelty works for your aesthetic amusement, and if you hurt yourself well then too bad you are a moron and don’t even bother sicking your lawyers on us ‘cause by purchasing our products you hereby absolve us of any liability of any harm you cause yourself or anyone else due to the ridiculousness that you do on your own time.

Curios for Weirdos 🤪🔫 Weird Shit for Friends and Fiends 🤪🔫 Presents for Peasants 🤪🔫 Oddities for Hotties 🤪🔫Trinkets for Finks 🤪🔫 Baubles and Gaud 🤪🔫 Bric-A-Brac-A-Lac 🤪🔫 Objets d'art for Old Farts 🤪🔫 Thing-A-Ma-Jigs by the Artist for the Artish Artifact Aficionado